What Makes You Beautiful

So, last Saturday Bobby and I did something I'm not sure I ever thought I would do...we chaperoned a church youth dance.  Seriously, as someone who grew up mostly avoiding chaperons at church dances I never suspected I would be in that position.  Anyway, we put on our dress clothes (did I mention it was church "Prom", seriously, who thinks up this stuff, I certainly didn't wear anything prom-y, but we did wear church clothes) and off we went.  We took a few minutes at the beginning of the dance to scope out places a couple could "hide" to make out (just in case...after all, I know where I was at that age) and then we started to watch the kids come in.  We didn't end up needing to have scoped out those places, either the kids we were chaperoning were much better than I was or they were just better at hiding...

I don't work in the Young Women's organization (I'm in Relief Society), but I know some of the young women in our ward pretty well because they babysit my boys for me.  I was so excited to see them at the dance.  They looked absolutely gorgeous, seriously, breathtaking, and they didn't have to show too much skin to look that way.  Seriously how beautiful are these girls?

And that boy?  He just turned 14 recently and this was his first dance.  I don't know him very well, but I always thought he was the shyer type...oh how wrong I was!  That kid danced pretty much every single slow dance and even got a phone number, FROM AN OLDER GIRL!  He sought out girls who were alone or hadn't danced and I'm sure he made the night for several girls who may not have been asked to dance if it hadn't been for him, what an awesome kid.  I hope that my boys are that sure of themselves and brave enough to dance every dance!

I have some observations from the dance, some things I thought about as we walked among those kids that night...

First was just how beautiful the girls DID look in their modest dresses and how I hope that my boys someday find girls who are confident enough in themselves to be that beautiful in their modesty.

Second, the geeky boys who dance too hard and have too little rhythm but obviously know their music (and know the best music, stuff that is older than them but timeless and amazing), they will someday soon be the cool kids even though they aren't now...I hope they know that.  In their early 20s when the girls start to care more about what you know and when they have grown all the way into their too big feet and they decide to cut their hair and when they've lost their braces they really will be the ones the girls like best and they will be the kind of cool then that matters and that lasts.

Third, I was familiar with almost all of the music they played at the dance, some of the music is stuff that was played at dances when I was a kid (the Electric Slide and Cotton-Eyed Joe are apparently timeless classics) and some of the music was newer.  The kids did dance, most of the kids spent most of the night dancing (there was of course a fair amount of standing around, but there was an impressive amount of dancing as well).  I was really struck by the song that was OBVIOUSLY the crowd favorite that night though.  I had heard the song before but didn't know it well, so I looked it up this week.  It was "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction.  I know, I'm old.  I mean, I know who One Direction is, but I couldn't have told you the name of any of their songs before this.  That night I was impressed that the boys were really singing the song (shamelessly in most cases) to the girls, they were enjoying it.  The girls were singing the song to each other.  And they really meant it.  It made me so happy to think that all of these young people were really TELLING each other that they ARE beautiful...and trust me THEY ARE!

As I was researching my third observation I found these two videos:

The quality of the dub on the first one is a little better, but I love the clips of talks from the General Authorities at the beginning of the second one (I got tears watching them both, I won't lie).

How awesome are these boys?  Right now I am raising boys, not girls, but I hope that when they are teenagers my boys aren't afraid to tell the girls how beautiful they are and I hope I am raising the kind of boys that can see beauty in ALL girls/women and that they are brave enough to see and openly appreciate REAL beauty in the girls around them and I hope that I have boys who are the kind of cool that matters and that lasts...even if they are geeks in the interim.

Women - Tougher Than Ever

A friend of mine on Facebook posted the following article today...and it made me think and it made me ANGRY.

Tough Gals Do They Still Exist?

Are women more "girly" than they have been in the last 30 years?  Maybe.  There does seem to be a resurgence of femininity in a lot of circles lately.  Women who are proud to cook, bake, craft, sew, knit, be good homemakers, mothers, and/or wives.  Women who wear makeup, pearls, high heels, and gasp PINK.

NOT ME!
Another supermom I know, links to her blog.

My question is this: does being feminine or taking pride in doing typically "domestic" things make us less tough?  Um, hell no.

I would submit to you that it is even harder today in the face of "feminists", who want all things feminine eradicated from our world, to be strong, feminine and even domestic.

I carried two children inside my body.  Almost ten months of my body not being my own with each one, followed by c-sections, the first after 18.5 hours of labor (including 7+ hours of a pitocin drip).  Twenty-five hours after I had my second child (also via c-section) I was showered and dressed in my own clothes sitting cross legged on my hospital bed nursing my baby.  The nurse who came in to check on me that morning said she didn't know how I did it, there were women all around me who were to be discharged in just a few hours who she couldn't even get out of bed to shower (I had very forcefully requested that my night nurse come in and take out my catheter the moment it had been in 24 hours so I could move around and shower on my own, my request was granted, because I didn't give them "no" as an option).  I was home 56 hours after that second c-section taking care of my newborn and my not quite two year old (although I had help the first week).  In five days I was at church (in nylons and a dress) with both kids and the next day I was taking care of the house and kids on my own.  And my story is NOTHING.  I have friends who have given birth without their husbands (who were deployed when the babies came) some of them after months of bed rest and complicated pregnancies while they took care of their toddlers and homes on their own.  Not to mention friends of mine who have been unable to bear children and the heartache they have endured and come through to be wonderful mothers to children they did not give birth to but love no different than if they had.

I am not the world's best homemaker...in fact, I have never been a great fan of cleaning, but I'm getting better.  I can get an amazing amount done in just a few short stolen minutes while my kids are napping or distracted by a game or movie.  I can get just about any stain out of just about any fabric.  I can unload and load a whole dishwasher in 10 minutes flat (including hand-washing anything too big or delicate to go into said dishwasher).

I can make dinner out of pantry staples in less than 30 minutes, or I can put together a totally elaborate spread for 15 when necessary.  I can throw an amazing party for a three year old or for a military commissioning ceremony.

I can diagnose and fix simple computer issues.  I can check my own oil and water in my car.  I can recharge my ac, tighten an ac belt, diagnose simple car problems and I can change a tire (I don't always do those things, but I am perfectly capable of them all).  I can take apart a vacuum cleaner and put it back together (and it will still work).  I take out my own garbage (and since we live in the sticks and it's required right now I can and do my own burning).  I can mow my own lawn.  I can iron a dress, a child's shirt, a man's shirt, my shirt, slacks, or a military uniform to perfection.  I can balance a budget.  I can change two diapers in two minutes on a changing table in a dirty public bathroom without ever letting a child's bum touch the changer.  I can change a diaper on my lap in a car or on a park bench.  I can nurse in public without you or anyone else in the room even noticing.  I can fix boo-boos with a kiss.

I craft and I sew and I'm even pretty good at some of it.  I enjoy making things and I enjoy the joy those things can bring to others.  It's FUN to make other people happy with something I have put time and effort into, and it makes people feel special to know that someone would put more effort than running to the store into a gift.

I keep a marriage alive and growing.  My husband is away a lot, it's not always easy, but we do it together.  We communicate via email about things most couples get to have face to face and heartfelt discussions about (like having a first baby, a second baby or how to know if your family is complete).  I manage to make my husband feel as loved and appreciated as he is, even when I can't throw my arms around him every day to show him.  I work hard to make sure that both my children know their daddy loves them and is thinking of them when he is gone often (not an easy task with toddlers).  I teach them that their daddy's job is important, that he helps us and all of their friends be free and safe.  And when my husband is home, I do all I can to show him just exactly how much he was missed and is loved everyday.

I teach my children to count, to color, to recognize shapes, letters, numbers and colors.  As they grow I will teach them to read, to use a computer, to use a phone and to take care of themselves.  I read to them, I play with them, I make sure they know they are loved, I discipline them.  I teach them where they came from, why they are here and where they are going.  I teach them to pray, I pray with them.  I get them ready for church every Sunday and even when they are monsters at church they know that is where we belong and I will have it no other way.

I don't want to burn my bra (I need it, have you seen my boobs? we need all the help fighting gravity we can get), no corporate job could ever be as challenging or as rewarding for me as my 24/7/365 job as a wife, mother, and homemaker, I am a supermom and I am lucky to know a lot of other supermoms, I want exactly what I have...and I make a mean cupcake.

Day Eight - A Song You Know All of the Words To

So many to choose from...

This is one I've probably known the words to for the longest period of time.  No, I don't know those kids (but they are cute aren't they?).

What age should you part ways with your inner nudist for propriety's sake?

So, when I picked Punk up from Nursery class the nursery leader mentioned 3 things.

1.  "Punk sure is a ladies man".  Yep, yep he is.  He comes by that honest, mom and dad were pretty big flirts in their younger days as were their dad's before them, plus, he's so cute he's just irresistible.

2.  "Punk is quite a good dresser and he seems to like being dressed nice, he doesn't try to take off his clothes at all".  Well...Punk doesn't dress himself and when he gets a choice he only gets a choice between outfits.  Punk IS an excellent dresser, but it is because mommy is a great shopper (at least for children's clothes), because, really, how many not quite three year olds do you know who take themselves shopping?  As far as taking off his clothes, he doesn't because he can't...he doesn't know that is an option...because mommy hasn't let him know that taking off his own clothes is an option yet (my life is easier that way).

3.  "We had a hard time keeping Ashlyn's clothes on her today, she kept taking them off".  Ashlyn is Punk's little "girlfriend" at church (and playgroup and she lives close so we have had a play date and I expect we'll have quite a few), right now I have no issue with Punk having a "girlfriend" that is in touch with her inner nudist, but I imagine there will come a time when I'm not so okay with that...I'm thinking probably when he's five or so...

Update

Just a quick update on our family logistics...

We are all in WA.  Not in Bremerton where we lived for the last 5 years, but in Arlington (north of Seattle and Everett).  Bobby is no longer stationed on the USS John C Stennis, he is now on the USS Abraham Lincoln (which is currently stationed in Everett, WA).  The ship will be leaving at the end of the year to move over to the Norfolk, VA area.  During the move time I will be in AZ (for a few months) then I will meet Bobby and the ship in VA.  We are looking forward to that time when we will be able to live together as a family for longer than six months at a time...

We are renting and living down the street from Bobby's mom and the kids are LOVING having "Gramma Di" so close, they love spending time with her and she has been great to take them and let Bobby and I have quite a few dates since we got here (something that has been in short supply for us since the kids came along).

I am working on being a better housekeeper (I'm still no good at it, but baby steps, you know?).  We live a long way from town and I'm trying to save miles on my new Ford Flex, so me and the boys hang out here a lot.  We don't have a TV, but we do have computers (although the internet can be tricky), the boys are getting acquainted with some of the great kids movies of my time (Punkin fell in love with Sesame Street's "Follow That Bird" just yesterday).

Our new ward (Arlington 2nd Ward) is great.  The people have been very welcoming.  Punk LOVES his nursery class and has a cute little blonde girlfriend there already.  Bobby has been called to work with the young men, and while he feels a little overwhelmed by the calling at times I think it is awesome that he gets to work with the youth.  The ward has an active weekly playgroup (that meets with two other wards in the area) and a monthly "ladies night" that is really NIGHT, we meet at 9:00p.m. for dinner/dessert and fun conversation.  I have really felt welcomed by the women in the ward and already know I will be sad to leave here when the time comes.

Hoping to be a better blogger again.  Not that a ton happens here, but the kids are growing fast, Bug will be walking soon, and Punkin says/does totally cute/funny things everyday and I am doing a lot of cooking and crafting, so maybe I'll get some pics, recipes, etc up at some point.

Been a busy girl...finishing the gratitude challenge in a hurry...

My life got really busy since OCTOBER, when I last posted, but since my last post was about gratitude I want to at least list my 26 other people I'm grateful for.  I have been trying to be more obvious about my gratitude for people and I hope that they know how much I love them and how grateful I am for them in my life.

1.  Bobby (my amazing husband)
2.  Punk (my oldest son, the light of my life and the wonder of my world)
3.  Bug (my baby boy, the perfect example of second kid strength and courage, and he's only 8.5 months old)
4.  Dad (my hero and the man who taught me to love reading)
5.  Grandma Bessie, Grandpa Carl, Grandma Anona, Grandpa Sonny, Grandma Beverly, and Grandpa Morris (I have the greatest grandparents EVER, some here with me and some watching over me from the other side)
6.  The women from the Manette Ward (amazing women who taught me so much about being a mom and about being a grown up)
7.  Nadine Torres (a friend's friend, I know I can always talk to her and I know she will always have an ear for me, plus, she's an amazing example of service and she always has been)
8.  Duane (what can I say, he's my brother, he's tested my patience and made me love him anyway)
9.  Ryan (baby brother, who is the strongest person I have ever met, he knows who he is and he always has...it's amazing)
10.  The Gospel (without which I'm not sure what kind of person I would be, or what kind of mom I would be)
11. Rachel (my bestie, who sees the world the same way I do, and reacts to it completely differently)
12. Jessica (she's crazy, in all the right ways)
13. April (my sister-in-law, she has patience for days and a knowledge and love of the gospel that I aspire to)
14. April P. (a friend I don't deserve and one that always seems to know when I need her)
15. The Curtis family (my first second family, one that has always loved me like their own)
16. Aunt Sandra (I wish I had half of her creativity, she loves without condition)
17. Bob and Bobbie (my in-laws, who love me more than I deserve and think better of me than they should)
18. Diane and John (my other in-laws, my mother-in-law is one of the sweetest women I know, she loves my children and is so sweet with Pumpkin)
19. Derrick, Diane and kids (my brother-in-law and his family who are awesome and who we are so grateful to have as part of our lives)
20. Eric and Christine (two of my cousins, who taught me so much growing up and who I love on a level they probably don't even know)
21. Andrea (a women of integrity and an amazing friend I couldn't love more)
22. Dan (so many fun times and so much love for such a wonderful friend)
23. Chuck and Jess (friends like everyone should have and everyone should be)
24. Monica (strange? maybe. but I'm grateful for her, she helped to shape my Bobby into what he is today, and truthfully, she shaped many of the rough edges away, maybe not on purpose, but I think he's better for what he learned with her)
25. Kenna and Christy (great friends-like-sisters who I have always loved and who I will always love, I think they know that)
26. Women of South Mountain Ward past and present (this includes the women who taught my primary classes, my young women's classes, my relief society classes and who helped to shape who I am and who I am trying to become)

Gratitude Challenge (borrowed from Sharon Cole)

"We often take for granted the very people who most deserve our gratitude. Let us not wait until it's too late for us to express that gratitude...to express gratitude is gracious and honorable... to live with gratitude ever in our hearts is to touch heaven."

~President Thomas S. Monson

There are 27 days left in October. Can you list 27 people in your life that you are grateful for?

I challenge you to express your gratitude to them. You do not have to blog about it.

You can call them, email them, text them, etc...just tell them you how much you appreciate them. 

 

So as to not complete rip off Sharon's post I won't talk about Bobby first...today I'll talk about my mom.

If you have known me since I was a kid/teenager/young adult, you probably know that from the time I was about 15 until I was about 25 my mom and I could not hardly be in the same room together without biting each other's heads off...then something changed.  I'm not sure what it was, maybe my mom suddenly got smarter, maybe we finally learned each other's language...probably it has to do with the reasoning/thinking parts of the adolescent brain not being fully developed until the mid-twenties...which means I got smarter, but suddenly my mom knew more than ever before and I respected that.  My mom and I started hanging out together, we took a Love and Logic class together, we shopped together, we cooked together and we talked together.  She became my best friend when I wasn't even looking.

The next year, I would become reacquainted with and marry the love of my life and his career would take us away from my family.  I miss my mom every day that we are apart.  

She is an amazing woman.  A pillar of strength in our family.  She is a wonderful mother.  My perfect friend, the kind that loves me no matter what, and isn't afraid to call me out on my weaknesses in a loving way.  She is the kind of grandmother that every kid wants to have, the kind that is fast and loose with the cookies, loves to spoil with presents big and small, gets down on the ground to play, and disciplines with love when necessary.  I am grateful for her in my life and in the lives of my children.

Day Eight - My Testimony

Day eight is supposed to be a picture that makes me sad/angry, I'm not in the kind of mood where it is a good idea to focus on anything that makes me sad or angry, I am instead really trying to focus on things that make me happy or inspire me...

Yesterday we learned about Job in Sunday School. I missed the first half of the lesson because I was nursing Bug, but I learned something I didn't know before when I finally did get to join the lesson.

We often focus on all the bad things that happened to Job, acting as if those things all happened to him in a week. While we don't know exactly how much time passed between the bad things that happened to Job, we do know that Job lived to be 140 years old and that all of the bad things happened to him in his first 70 years of life. It is possible (probable in fact) that all of the bad things that happened to Job were scattered through his first 70 years. We all have bad things that happen to us throughout our lives, we loose family members, we deal with confusion, we suffer losses of jobs, we deal with people who mock us, we all go through the same things that Job did, and while those things might not happen to us all in a week, we will probably face most of the same trials that Job did in our first 70 years of life. Through all of his trials, Job still managed this proclamation of testimony "For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh I shall see God:..." (Job 19:25-26).

As I face trials, some so large that I feel as though I will never overcome them, I will be remembering Job and his testimony and I will hold onto my testimony; That I know that my Redeemer lives, I know that he knows me, I know that he already suffered all the pains and discomforts that I sometimes feel overwhelmed by and that when I lean on him, when I apply the healing power of the atonement in my life I can let go of the pain and discomfort, my trials can seem light to me because of the strength of the Lord. I know that Jesus is the Christ. I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the same gospel, the same teachings, that Jesus Christ himself put into place when he walked the earth in his mortal body. I know that the priesthood we have access to in the Church is the same priesthood by which Jesus and his apostles performed the miracles of old, and I know that that priesthood power to perform miracles exists on the earth today. I know that we have a prophet on the earth today who presides over the church in righteousness and that by following the teachings of the prophet and the gospel of the church we can draw close to the Lord. I know that the Book of Mormon is true scripture, that the prophets who wrote the Book of Mormon saw our day and that the instruction given is specifically for us, I know that Jesus Christ appeared to the ancient Americans, he loved them and wanted them to know him, I know he loves me and wants me to know him as well. I know that I can be made whole in Christ, if I can just remember to lean on him and trust in him, if I can just remember the example of Job. I seal my testimony, in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, amen.

Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God

Moms: Take a minute, watch this video, and remember even when it is all so overwhelming that you are doing a sacred eternal work and you are never alone in your endeavors.

Something strange from HI

So this pic is the front of the outside of the church that we attended while we were in HI. It is just outside of Waikiki. We don't have paintings of Christ on our churches normally, so Bobby and I thought this was very strange and went back a couple of days later to get a pic of it (this was actually taken by Bobby from the moving car, but it's a pretty good pic considering). I don't travel outside of the contiguous 48 much (although I have been to AK and never saw anything I would consider strange, but I have heard that sometimes outside of the states there are stranger things at churches, have you seen anything strange like this?

Hope for the New Year

I was blessed to be asked to teach the Relief Society lesson in my ward this last week. It was the fourth Sunday and the conference talk that my bishop picked to be taught was "The Infinite Power of Hope" by President Dieter Uchtdorf. It was a really difficult talk for me to work into a lesson, there is a lot of information and honestly in parts of the talk I had a very hard time differentiating between hope (as it is defined in the talk) and faith. However, I did finally get through it and I gave a lesson, my mom helped me with part of the lesson, she suggested that I have each person in the class share their hopes for the coming year. It was neat to hear all of the different things that the women in my ward are hoping for, from "running fast" to completing to genealogy projects, from hope for the conversion of a husband to hope that the hearts of siblings fallen away would be softened, the span of hopes was interesting to hear and it was a neat way to get to know the women in the ward a little better. The idea got me thinking about my hopes for the new year...

I hope that Bobby and I are able to continue preparing to go to the temple so that our family can be sealed together. I hope that Bobby returns home safely to me and Punk from his deployemnt. I hope that I continue to work on becoming a better wife and mother everyday and that I never loose sight of the things that are most important in my life.

One of the things that we discussed in my lesson was that hope must lead us to action. I hope that I don't forget that and that I remember to take action to make positive things happen in my life and in the lives of those people I love everyday.

What do you hope for the new year?