Friday, August 19, 2011

Women - Tougher Than Ever

A friend of mine on Facebook posted the following article today...and it made me think and it made me ANGRY.

Tough Gals Do They Still Exist?

Are women more "girly" than they have been in the last 30 years?  Maybe.  There does seem to be a resurgence of femininity in a lot of circles lately.  Women who are proud to cook, bake, craft, sew, knit, be good homemakers, mothers, and/or wives.  Women who wear makeup, pearls, high heels, and gasp PINK.

Another supermom I know, links to her blog.
My question is this: does being feminine or taking pride in doing typically "domestic" things make us less tough?  Um, hell no.

I would submit to you that it is even harder today in the face of "feminists", who want all things feminine eradicated from our world, to be strong, feminine and even domestic.

I carried two children inside my body.  Almost ten months of my body not being my own with each one, followed by c-sections, the first after 18.5 hours of labor (including 7+ hours of a pitocin drip).  Twenty-five hours after I had my second child (also via c-section) I was showered and dressed in my own clothes sitting cross legged on my hospital bed nursing my baby.  The nurse who came in to check on me that morning said she didn't know how I did it, there were women all around me who were to be discharged in just a few hours who she couldn't even get out of bed to shower (I had very forcefully requested that my night nurse come in and take out my catheter the moment it had been in 24 hours so I could move around and shower on my own, my request was granted, because I didn't give them "no" as an option).  I was home 56 hours after that second c-section taking care of my newborn and my not quite two year old (although I had help the first week).  In five days I was at church (in nylons and a dress) with both kids and the next day I was taking care of the house and kids on my own.  And my story is NOTHING.  I have friends who have given birth without their husbands (who were deployed when the babies came) some of them after months of bed rest and complicated pregnancies while they took care of their toddlers and homes on their own.  Not to mention friends of mine who have been unable to bear children and the heartache they have endured and come through to be wonderful mothers to children they did not give birth to but love no different than if they had.

I am not the world's best fact, I have never been a great fan of cleaning, but I'm getting better.  I can get an amazing amount done in just a few short stolen minutes while my kids are napping or distracted by a game or movie.  I can get just about any stain out of just about any fabric.  I can unload and load a whole dishwasher in 10 minutes flat (including hand-washing anything too big or delicate to go into said dishwasher).

I can make dinner out of pantry staples in less than 30 minutes, or I can put together a totally elaborate spread for 15 when necessary.  I can throw an amazing party for a three year old or for a military commissioning ceremony.

I can diagnose and fix simple computer issues.  I can check my own oil and water in my car.  I can recharge my ac, tighten an ac belt, diagnose simple car problems and I can change a tire (I don't always do those things, but I am perfectly capable of them all).  I can take apart a vacuum cleaner and put it back together (and it will still work).  I take out my own garbage (and since we live in the sticks and it's required right now I can and do my own burning).  I can mow my own lawn.  I can iron a dress, a child's shirt, a man's shirt, my shirt, slacks, or a military uniform to perfection.  I can balance a budget.  I can change two diapers in two minutes on a changing table in a dirty public bathroom without ever letting a child's bum touch the changer.  I can change a diaper on my lap in a car or on a park bench.  I can nurse in public without you or anyone else in the room even noticing.  I can fix boo-boos with a kiss.

I craft and I sew and I'm even pretty good at some of it.  I enjoy making things and I enjoy the joy those things can bring to others.  It's FUN to make other people happy with something I have put time and effort into, and it makes people feel special to know that someone would put more effort than running to the store into a gift.

I keep a marriage alive and growing.  My husband is away a lot, it's not always easy, but we do it together.  We communicate via email about things most couples get to have face to face and heartfelt discussions about (like having a first baby, a second baby or how to know if your family is complete).  I manage to make my husband feel as loved and appreciated as he is, even when I can't throw my arms around him every day to show him.  I work hard to make sure that both my children know their daddy loves them and is thinking of them when he is gone often (not an easy task with toddlers).  I teach them that their daddy's job is important, that he helps us and all of their friends be free and safe.  And when my husband is home, I do all I can to show him just exactly how much he was missed and is loved everyday.

I teach my children to count, to color, to recognize shapes, letters, numbers and colors.  As they grow I will teach them to read, to use a computer, to use a phone and to take care of themselves.  I read to them, I play with them, I make sure they know they are loved, I discipline them.  I teach them where they came from, why they are here and where they are going.  I teach them to pray, I pray with them.  I get them ready for church every Sunday and even when they are monsters at church they know that is where we belong and I will have it no other way.

I don't want to burn my bra (I need it, have you seen my boobs? we need all the help fighting gravity we can get), no corporate job could ever be as challenging or as rewarding for me as my 24/7/365 job as a wife, mother, and homemaker, I am a supermom and I am lucky to know a lot of other supermoms, I want exactly what I have...and I make a mean cupcake.


Erin said...

Kelli, Hi! I've been reading your blog, having found you just recently, and LOVE this post! I identify with it so much, right down to the hopping out of bed after c-sections LOL! I too, am proud to be a domestic mama and all that goes along with it, I know my husband sure appreciates it as well, as he never has to worry about things running well when he's deployed. I just wanted to say "hi" and I support you, as a fellow Navy wife, mom, and general caretaker of all things family, I know how difficult it can be to keep it together, yet we still do it!

Kelli said...

Hi Erin! Glad to have you here. Hope you continue to enjoy what I have to say and to share!

Goings on at the Glenn's said...

awesome post Kelli! I love your supermom skills as well!