RANT

Okay, Navy bases still require that vehicles have DoD tags in order to be driven on base...fine, stupid, but fine (Air Force Bases no longer require this and it's a stupid thing to require, I mean they require that the driver have military ID, do we authorize PEOPLE to have access to Navy bases or to be authorize vehicles, but I digress). If you are driving your vehicle you have to take your registration, insurance and driver's license in to get a DoD tag, if you are driving a rental they only need the rental agreement and your driver's license, if you are driving a borrowed vehicle (as I will be when I go to San Diego next week) they need some mysterious form, no one seems to be able to give me the number of the form so that I can try to find it online, so I call the phone number on the Naval Base Coronado website for Pass and Decal...it goes straight to voicemail for the supervisor (what are the odds that guy is really going to call me back), so I call the general information line...they give me a number for pass and decal, that number is not pass and decal BUT they know what I'm talking about, they give me a number for pass and decal, no one answers that number the first 10 times I call it (and there is no voicemail) when I finally get someone they are NOT pass and decal either and they have NO IDEA what I am talking about (in fact they tell me that I cannot get a temporary pass for ANY vehicle unless I am the military member, even though I am a dependent with a valid ID, but whatever) she does give me ANOTHER FREAKING NUMBER for pass and decal...which I call and I get a guy who knows what I'm talking about and has access to the form but acts like I am asking for him to email me his arm when I ask him to fax me the form so I can get it filled out and notarized before I get there...hopefully he faxed it (it's going to my mom's work and I don't have any idea if he actually got it to her yet or not)...ETA: The form was actually received by my mom...yay.

I swear, if I get to San Diego and they give me a hard time about getting a pass for the stupid truck after all the crap I went through to get their stupid form (why isn't this form just available on the website???) I am probably going to loose any semblance of cool I ever had and get banned from Navy bases forever...

Oh, and in case you ever need to talk to an actual person at Naval Base Coronado Pass and Decal...save yourself the telephone runaround and call them here: 619-545-7413!

An Answer to Prayer

So, we had a big difficult wonderful change happen in our family this week...Sirius has found a new home! I know there are plenty of people who think that rehoming a dog FOR ANY REASON is just evil, but with the amount of travel that we have been doing the past year and half and how little time we have for Sirius even when we are home we decided last July it was time to start to look for a new home for our "little" Sirius. I have been scanning craigslist pets wanted adds, checking into programs through our vet, local rescues and even the humane society through which we originally adopted Sirius...I just haven't been able to find the perfect fit for Sirius until this week.

This week I got an email from Troy. A longtime dog owner who recently got out of the Navy and was looking for a large breed adult dog to be his first pet since he got out of the Navy. He is single, lives on 4.5 acres in a house that he rents from his parents (also dog owners), he was looking for a dog to take on hikes and runs with him and to spoil rotten. Troy and I "talked" via email for a couple of days, he told me about himself, I told him about us and Sirius and we agreed to have Bobby go out and check out Troy's place and bring Sirius along for an introduction. The introduction went well, Bobby showed Tory all of Sirius' commands and Sirius sniffed out Troy's house and helped himself to a spot on the lawn. Troy LOVED Sirius and Sirius loved Troy. It went so well that they decided to do a one night trial run and see how things went. The next day I got an email from Troy where he sang Sirius' praises ("he is such a lovable good dog!"). That day Bobby also got a call saying Troy would love to keep Sirius and asking if Bobby could bring over Sirius' toys. Bobby got all of Sirius' toys, food and treats together and took them over to Troy. The first thing Troy said to Bobby when he got there was "So, Sirius snores," Bobby said, "Oh, yeah?", to which Troy replied, "Yeah, he slept in the bed with me last night". Troy is loving having Sirius, we are loving knowing that Sirius is in a happy loving home with someone who has all the time and energy that Sirius needs.

Bobby will take Sirius' igloo and inside bed over to Troy on Sunday and Troy is happy to have us check in with Sirius via email every month or so. It's just been such an answer to our prayers and I am so glad to say that I think this placement is going to be an exception to all of those that say rehoming NEVER works...

Thank you so much Troy!

Are you kidding me?

I belong to a webgroup, a community of military wives and girlfriends mostly, lately we've been talking a lot about homeless people and giving to charity. I'm going to quote a post made their today and a couple of the responses...

If you are going to come up to me asking for money...do it sober!

This lady was walking around the King Soopers parking lot asking for money. I could tell she was on her way to me, and I got out all of the change I had (didn't have any bills) to give to her.

Then she gets within speaking/smelling distance.

She proceeded to tell me how hungry she is because she has been homeless for 2 months and hasn't eaten in days. Slurring her words. She reaked of booze. Obviously toasted. I put the money back in my pocket.

1. I'm not sure where this new trend is coming from, but the recent public
   judgements of the homeless turns my stomach. Of course we all have the
   right to do what we please with our money. But the direction and
   implications of posting about it makes me uncomfortable, "but for the grace
   of God go I," and all that.
2. WOW! What a way to bring that holiday spirit of giving and being judgemental!!

The thread goes on for two pages, and it's mostly people talking about how judgemental the original poster is and how she should have just given this drunk lady her change (or how she should have gone out of her way to get her a meal or something).

I don't get it. I just don't get it. We pay tithing and we give fast offerings. I don't often (like almost never) give money to people on the street corner and I never give to anyone who is smoking a cigarette or reaks of alcohol.

I honestly think that with the current state of the economy that more people are trying to be better stewards of their own money. I think that people know, now maybe more than they ever have before, how easily they could be on the other side and I think that people are doing the best they can to handle their money in the best possible way. If that means not enabling another person's addiction, then so be it. I don't think that anyone should tell another person how they aught to handle their own money. I mean, if YOU want to buy a drink for every beggar you see, that's okay, it's your money, but I don't understand faulting someone for being a good steward of their own family's money. I guess I just feel like charitable giving is a personal decision and that no one should feel obligated to give, especially in a situation that makes you uncomfortable.

Through with it Thursday...a day late.

Okay, if you get your news from the internet you've probably seen this story already about a JOP in LA who refused to be the one to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple.

Here goes my unpopular opinion...

The law says they can be married, the JOP does not dispute that, he just has personal beliefs that don't allow him to be the one to issue the license. He didn't ruin their marriage by refusing to marry them, they had plenty of time to contact the JOP he refered them to who WOULD give them a license. I don't think this guy is entirely wrong and here is why; I don't think the law should force people to do something they do not believe in as long as their refusal does not cause physical harm. This JOP is allowed to think that interracial marriages are harmful to the potentially resulting children, it is his right to think what he does (the same way it is your right to believe in gay marriage, or a woman's right to choose or a right to universal healthcare or whatever the ridiculous liberal cause of the week is). I don't have an issue with interracial marriage (let's get that straight RIGHT NOW!), I have an issue with laws forcing people to do things that are against their ideals in the name of "tolerance".

The fact is, that at some point, I believe that the law in the United States is going to ALLOW gay marriage, but I don't think that ministers or JOPs who don't believe in it should be forced to perform marriages they don't believe in in the name of "tolerance". This is the same thing, this guy should not be forced to perform a marriage he doesn't believe in in the name of "tolerance" and really, if you are this couple would you WANT someone to perform your marriage that didn't believe you SHOULD be married? I wouldn't. Forcing people to support you doesn't create genuine support, it just creates ire and I don't now why anyone would want to do that...

Why do I always feel like I should keep my opinions to myself?

I'm really tired of keeping my opinions to myself. At the risk of sounding a little bit hypocritical, I really don't begrudge anyone their right to make their own choices, but I somehow feel like often my decisions are not good enough and I rarely discuss my choices and the reasoning behind them with, well, anyone. I'm pretty sure I'm done doing that. I'm thinking that I'm going to try doing a weekly unapologetic blog. Maybe "Through With it Thursday"...I think that's it, we'll call it "Through With it Thursday" and if you don't want to hear about my decisions, why I make them and why I think they are right, you might want to stay away from here on Thursdays...Maybe I'll start tonight, maybe not till next week, we'll see how the day goes.

About Our Children - Townhall on Education

"About Our Children" a townhall with Bill Cosby at Howard University will be re-airing on Sunday. I think it is something that every parent should see, it is a call for revolution in the way our school systems are handled and the way that our children our educated. Set your DVR!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32676326/

Motherhood Guilt and Devisiveness...

Ever noticed how there are a million ways to inflict guilt upon yourself as a mother? I was reading Facebook the other day and one of my friends posted about how she didn't understand why some parents will pick up a package of cookies in the grocery store and give it to their children to quiet them without paying for the product until they get to the checkstand, those that do that sort of thing defended, those that don't insisted that it's stealing and a bad example to your kids.

I belong to several mommy webgroups, I have seen contentious discussion between moms on every subject you can imagine. All out virtual wars about carseats, vacinations, breast vs. bottle feeding, down to whether a c-section makes you a non-believer in God (because if God is in control and you have a medical intervention then you are thwarting his plan for you and/or your child to die).

I don't understand the need to fight about everything. I honestly believe that MOST mothers love their children and they really are making the decisions that they believe are best for their children. We all have opinions. I breast feed...I love nursing my little Pumpkin and I have loved it since the begining (that didn't make it any easier when he split my nipple at 3 weeks old, but it did make me stick with it), I think that extended rear facing in the carseat is a good idea (but my kid HATES to be rear facing and does much better forward facing, so we are in the process of turning him at just 14 months, when I really wanted to go to at least 18 months rear facing), we are on a delayed vax schedule because that is what makes me comfortable and I'm his mommy! I have what I believe, I have done the best I can do, but I don't begrudge anyone else their choices either. As long as a parent is doing the best they can and their child is being fed, clothed and loved, I just don't understand why we can't be respectful of choices that are different than our own. The devisiveness in motherhood just makes me sad...I mean if it takes a village shouldn't we all be trying our best to help each other instead of tearing each other down? There is enough guilt in motherhood...do we have to pass it on?

I often think of a Michael McLean song I knew and loved growing up called Gentle (you can hear it here: http://www.ilike.com/artist/Michael+McLean):

Like a gentle wind can blow the clouds from the sky,

Like a gentle touch can ease the pain of goodbye,

Like a gentle smile embraces empty souls in lonely places,

We should be more gentle with ourselves.

Like the friend who gently builds us up when we're down,

Like a gentle kiss can turn our world all around,

We've been hurt by others often,

We've forgiven and forgotten,
We should be more gentle with ourselves.

Life can be hard but we need not be so hard on ourselves,

If we will see

Like the Shepherd leads his flock with gentle commands.

With his gentle voice that only hearts understand.

One thing we can know for certain,

He has borne the awful burdens so we can be more gentle with ourselves.
One thing that I know for certain:

He will bear my every burden,

So I can be gentle with myself.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could just be more gentle with each other and with ourselves? Our Heavenly Father knows that parenting is hard, there are a lot of choices that just don't have a right answer for everyone, when we can learn to respect that we can have differences in parenting and still all be good parents, when we can be more gentle with each other and with ourselves, then maybe we can start to assuage some of the guilt that comes with being Mommy.