Are you kidding me?

I belong to a webgroup, a community of military wives and girlfriends mostly, lately we've been talking a lot about homeless people and giving to charity. I'm going to quote a post made their today and a couple of the responses...

If you are going to come up to me asking for money...do it sober!

This lady was walking around the King Soopers parking lot asking for money. I could tell she was on her way to me, and I got out all of the change I had (didn't have any bills) to give to her.

Then she gets within speaking/smelling distance.

She proceeded to tell me how hungry she is because she has been homeless for 2 months and hasn't eaten in days. Slurring her words. She reaked of booze. Obviously toasted. I put the money back in my pocket.

1. I'm not sure where this new trend is coming from, but the recent public
   judgements of the homeless turns my stomach. Of course we all have the
   right to do what we please with our money. But the direction and
   implications of posting about it makes me uncomfortable, "but for the grace
   of God go I," and all that.
2. WOW! What a way to bring that holiday spirit of giving and being judgemental!!

The thread goes on for two pages, and it's mostly people talking about how judgemental the original poster is and how she should have just given this drunk lady her change (or how she should have gone out of her way to get her a meal or something).

I don't get it. I just don't get it. We pay tithing and we give fast offerings. I don't often (like almost never) give money to people on the street corner and I never give to anyone who is smoking a cigarette or reaks of alcohol.

I honestly think that with the current state of the economy that more people are trying to be better stewards of their own money. I think that people know, now maybe more than they ever have before, how easily they could be on the other side and I think that people are doing the best they can to handle their money in the best possible way. If that means not enabling another person's addiction, then so be it. I don't think that anyone should tell another person how they aught to handle their own money. I mean, if YOU want to buy a drink for every beggar you see, that's okay, it's your money, but I don't understand faulting someone for being a good steward of their own family's money. I guess I just feel like charitable giving is a personal decision and that no one should feel obligated to give, especially in a situation that makes you uncomfortable.

Through with it Thursday...a day late.

Okay, if you get your news from the internet you've probably seen this story already about a JOP in LA who refused to be the one to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple.

Here goes my unpopular opinion...

The law says they can be married, the JOP does not dispute that, he just has personal beliefs that don't allow him to be the one to issue the license. He didn't ruin their marriage by refusing to marry them, they had plenty of time to contact the JOP he refered them to who WOULD give them a license. I don't think this guy is entirely wrong and here is why; I don't think the law should force people to do something they do not believe in as long as their refusal does not cause physical harm. This JOP is allowed to think that interracial marriages are harmful to the potentially resulting children, it is his right to think what he does (the same way it is your right to believe in gay marriage, or a woman's right to choose or a right to universal healthcare or whatever the ridiculous liberal cause of the week is). I don't have an issue with interracial marriage (let's get that straight RIGHT NOW!), I have an issue with laws forcing people to do things that are against their ideals in the name of "tolerance".

The fact is, that at some point, I believe that the law in the United States is going to ALLOW gay marriage, but I don't think that ministers or JOPs who don't believe in it should be forced to perform marriages they don't believe in in the name of "tolerance". This is the same thing, this guy should not be forced to perform a marriage he doesn't believe in in the name of "tolerance" and really, if you are this couple would you WANT someone to perform your marriage that didn't believe you SHOULD be married? I wouldn't. Forcing people to support you doesn't create genuine support, it just creates ire and I don't now why anyone would want to do that...

Why do I always feel like I should keep my opinions to myself?

I'm really tired of keeping my opinions to myself. At the risk of sounding a little bit hypocritical, I really don't begrudge anyone their right to make their own choices, but I somehow feel like often my decisions are not good enough and I rarely discuss my choices and the reasoning behind them with, well, anyone. I'm pretty sure I'm done doing that. I'm thinking that I'm going to try doing a weekly unapologetic blog. Maybe "Through With it Thursday"...I think that's it, we'll call it "Through With it Thursday" and if you don't want to hear about my decisions, why I make them and why I think they are right, you might want to stay away from here on Thursdays...Maybe I'll start tonight, maybe not till next week, we'll see how the day goes.

About Our Children - Townhall on Education

"About Our Children" a townhall with Bill Cosby at Howard University will be re-airing on Sunday. I think it is something that every parent should see, it is a call for revolution in the way our school systems are handled and the way that our children our educated. Set your DVR!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32676326/

Motherhood Guilt and Devisiveness...

Ever noticed how there are a million ways to inflict guilt upon yourself as a mother? I was reading Facebook the other day and one of my friends posted about how she didn't understand why some parents will pick up a package of cookies in the grocery store and give it to their children to quiet them without paying for the product until they get to the checkstand, those that do that sort of thing defended, those that don't insisted that it's stealing and a bad example to your kids.

I belong to several mommy webgroups, I have seen contentious discussion between moms on every subject you can imagine. All out virtual wars about carseats, vacinations, breast vs. bottle feeding, down to whether a c-section makes you a non-believer in God (because if God is in control and you have a medical intervention then you are thwarting his plan for you and/or your child to die).

I don't understand the need to fight about everything. I honestly believe that MOST mothers love their children and they really are making the decisions that they believe are best for their children. We all have opinions. I breast feed...I love nursing my little Pumpkin and I have loved it since the begining (that didn't make it any easier when he split my nipple at 3 weeks old, but it did make me stick with it), I think that extended rear facing in the carseat is a good idea (but my kid HATES to be rear facing and does much better forward facing, so we are in the process of turning him at just 14 months, when I really wanted to go to at least 18 months rear facing), we are on a delayed vax schedule because that is what makes me comfortable and I'm his mommy! I have what I believe, I have done the best I can do, but I don't begrudge anyone else their choices either. As long as a parent is doing the best they can and their child is being fed, clothed and loved, I just don't understand why we can't be respectful of choices that are different than our own. The devisiveness in motherhood just makes me sad...I mean if it takes a village shouldn't we all be trying our best to help each other instead of tearing each other down? There is enough guilt in motherhood...do we have to pass it on?

I often think of a Michael McLean song I knew and loved growing up called Gentle (you can hear it here: http://www.ilike.com/artist/Michael+McLean):

Like a gentle wind can blow the clouds from the sky,

Like a gentle touch can ease the pain of goodbye,

Like a gentle smile embraces empty souls in lonely places,

We should be more gentle with ourselves.

Like the friend who gently builds us up when we're down,

Like a gentle kiss can turn our world all around,

We've been hurt by others often,

We've forgiven and forgotten,
We should be more gentle with ourselves.

Life can be hard but we need not be so hard on ourselves,

If we will see

Like the Shepherd leads his flock with gentle commands.

With his gentle voice that only hearts understand.

One thing we can know for certain,

He has borne the awful burdens so we can be more gentle with ourselves.
One thing that I know for certain:

He will bear my every burden,

So I can be gentle with myself.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could just be more gentle with each other and with ourselves? Our Heavenly Father knows that parenting is hard, there are a lot of choices that just don't have a right answer for everyone, when we can learn to respect that we can have differences in parenting and still all be good parents, when we can be more gentle with each other and with ourselves, then maybe we can start to assuage some of the guilt that comes with being Mommy.

So excited...

Last year a mid-season replacement made a big splash in my heart. If you haven't seen ABC's Castle, you should check out the season two premier on Monday September 21 (that's tomorrow people)! Then, because you WILL be hooked, you should pick up season one on Tuesday when it is released on DVD! If you liked the short lived (but much loved cult favorite) Fox series Firefly and/or the movie Serenity, you will love Castle too, Nathan Fillion brings the same dry wonderful sense of humor that he brought to Mal to Castle (and the cute little sly smile too)!



Check it out, I will just be too sad if this show doesn't make it.

ETC(SW) Robert Eastman...yummy.

Okay, maybe just yummy for me.

It's been a long road. I'm sad I missed the ceremony (the ship is currently underway), but I am so glad that it is over and my Bobby is now officially a Chief...those of you that are not military would be surprised how excited I am to see him in that silly khaki uniform, those of you that know me well will not be surprised at how excited I am to get him out of it ;-p

I should really do this more often...

So, I apparently suck at keeping up with a blog...I think it might be the microblogging on FB and Twitter (incidentally, I have put some recipes up in the past few weeks on FB because it's easier to put them up there than it is here)...

Bobby and I have lived through the induction season and he is officially a Chief now. I haven't seen him in his uniform yet (for those that don't know the uniforms change in the Navy when you make Chief, and it's kind of a big deal), they did the pinning ceremony underway and will not be home for a few days...I can't wait to see him.

I have a lot of things rolling around in my head that I want to blog about...some of them are just things I need to rant about, some of them are controversial...so I'm torn, can't decide if I want to put my thoughts out there or not. I think maybe I just need to let myself go and put it all out there...we'll see.

Been working on sleep training with Punk. All is going amazingly well at this point (it took a few weeks), he still fights naptime a bit, but he now goes to bed at night without so much as a whimper. I can tell that Punk is getting closer to weaning. He still enjoys nursing and LOVES his morning nurse, but during the rest of the day he is typically just too busy to be bothered. He does still nurse it's just struggle sometimes. He is growing SO fast, it makes me sad everyday to see my precious little baby slip away, but I have joy that comes with seeing my precocious little toddler emerging.

Bobby and I are preparing to go to the Temple this fall to be sealed together as a family. We had a date set and had everything scheduled, but it looks like the Navy may have stepped in the way of that plan, so we are trying to move it up to make it still happen this fall as opposed to having to put it off until next year. More details to come as we firm up plans.

Congratulations, I'm sorry.

It's pretty much the way my life feels right now. Congratulations = Bobby made Chief, I'm sorry = the whole process of Chief induction. I sort of just hate the whole thing.

Plus, my mother-in-law is coming on Friday...there is just no way that this house is going to ready by then, but that is not stopping Friday from coming, nor is it stopping my mother-in-law from coming....grrr...

I just really need a break from EVERTHING today. I wish that I could get away with running off to get a massage, but I can't even schedule one because there is NO telling when Bobby will get home to watch Punk.

Luckily Punk is sleeping and I can get some laundry folded and a load of dishes in, if I get off the computer right now...so off I go.

It's a good day...okay, understatement a little...

So, Punk is ONE today. Can you even believe it? I can't, the time just flys by. Tomorrow he is getting a job and moving out...I just know it.

Also, we found out today that Bobby made Chief!!! For those of you that are non-military (which is most I think) that is a BIG deal. I am so proud of Bobby and so excited to move forward with this leg of our journey. It doesn't mean a move or anything, just more respect and a little more money, it doesn't even mean that his daily job will change as he has been filling a Chief billet for almost two years, but we are excited that Bobby will finally have the recognition!

Okay, so that is my great day today...it will be even better if the freaking cable guy shows up soon...

The ship is HOME!

http://www.king5.com/localnews/stories/NW_071009WAB-stennis-homecoming-LJ.2845d319.html?rss

The USS John C Stennis has arrived home in Bremerton, WA. That means that Bobby is home, however, I am not. I am still in Phoenix and Bobby will be joining me here in a few days. We will then enjoy a few (all to short) days here before we put our vehicle hating baby and all of my STUFF into my dad's truck and drive back to WA. I will miss all of my wonderful friends here in Phoenix so much when I leave that I have honestly been sort of in denial about leaving for a few weeks. Luckily we have the internet to help keep us close and I am going to do everything in my power to visit often (I am even hoping to bring Bobby with me sometimes). I don't really want to face leaving today, so I think I'm going back to my regularly scheduled denial...

Something strange from HI

So this pic is the front of the outside of the church that we attended while we were in HI. It is just outside of Waikiki. We don't have paintings of Christ on our churches normally, so Bobby and I thought this was very strange and went back a couple of days later to get a pic of it (this was actually taken by Bobby from the moving car, but it's a pretty good pic considering). I don't travel outside of the contiguous 48 much (although I have been to AK and never saw anything I would consider strange, but I have heard that sometimes outside of the states there are stranger things at churches, have you seen anything strange like this?

Hawaii - From Home

So, HI was great. We discovered that we are NOT beach people and really only spent about 20 minutes total on the beach the whole time we were there...have you seen us, we are WHITE, it took longer to put on the sunscreen than we spent on the beach! Punk is allergic to Hawaii, so he was a little snot-ball (quite literally) pretty much the whole time that we were there. He was totally worse both during our visit to the Temple and during church on Sunday, so some plant they had at both places was probably the biggest culprit. We had a great time at the Dole Plantation, we went to the USS Arizona Memorial which was a sobering experience for me, we walked the streets and shops of Waikiki together every night, but the very best part was watching my Punk and his Daddy interact together and I am so glad that we are swiftly nearing the end of this deployment.

I do have pictures (Bobby just emailed them to me yesterday) and I will be blogging some of them with more specific stories soon.

Waikiki

We are here! Punk was pretty good on the plane rides considering that he was pretty much forced to sit in my lap for 12 hours. I wish he would go to sleep now (it's 10:30 at home he should be completely wiped, but he's crawling around here bonking on everything he can reach and watching Ocean's Eleven. I'm going to try to go to bed soon...hopefully I'll be able to write a little bit about what we are doing everyday.

Hawaii *Woot*

Going to Oahu this week and I'll be there 8 nights, 9 days. Hopefully I'll get a chance while I'm there to blog some amazing food and maybe even some pretty pictures. If you've been and have a food or activity suggestion you should lay it on me and I'm trying to get things partially planned before we leave.

Stockupportunity - Huggies

I was at Walmart tonight and they have Huggies Jumbo packs for $8.97 (other brands might have been that price too, I didn't really look close, but will look when I go tomorrow). Combine that price with the $1.50 Huggies coupons that are so prevalent (via the internet, mailers or Sunday coupons) and that makes Huggies size 3 diapers less than $.19 each. Huggies is lowering the number of diapers per package so stock up while the bigger packages are still on the shelves!

ETA: This seems to be only at the Walmart at Elliot and Priest in Tempe (I went to another Walmart that did not have the markdown) and it does appear that all the other brands were also a reduced price. I bought 7 packages of size 3s today and spent a little less than $53 with tax, that is less than $.19 per diaper even with tax included in the price!

Real Chocolate Relief Act

Log in every Friday to receive your coupon (by mail) for free M&Ms/Mars chocolate.

Chocolate Relief Act

Irritated...

Not so much for me, but for all the other people who don't have access to the information they should have. The airwing ombudsmen are releasing information, it is tentative, but at least it is information. The ship's ombudsmen are still playing the "we don't know anything" and the "nothing is set officially" lines...which I really am having trouble believing considering that the airwing ombudsmen aren't even playing the "tentative" line (although we all know that nothing is in stone until it's done with the military). I got the information from an airwing ombudsman, but there are a lot of people that would like to be making plans and it's frustrating to belong to a command that seems to think that they only have control if they keep everyone else in the dark...how do you expect people to feel empowered, to BE empowered, if you don't give allow them the information necessary to make decisions? Just grrrr...

Grieving for my Navy/Stennis family...

The Stennis lost a sailor in an accident this past week after they pulled into Singapore. My heart and prayers go out to his family, and to all of the families touched by this saddening accident. I talked to Bobby after it happened, the sailor was not someone he knew or worked with, but any loss hits the ship family hard. It's a sad, sad weekend for all of those affected.

Because there is plenty of guilt in motherhood...

It is very nice when there is something to just not feel bad about. On FLN's "Big Green Lies" last night they looked at the issue of cloth diapers vs. disposable diapers, and the winner is BOTH. The environmental impact of 'sposies and CDs is about the same (and those of us that live in Phoenix should note that because we live in a desert with a water shortage we 'sposies moms are actually probably making the MORE responsible choice). Nice to know that which ever you choose you can rest easy and keep the diaper guilt (at least) to a minimum.

Mom puts unruly tweens out of the car...

Mom Ejects Girls Drives Off

This could have been a very good learning experience for these girls. At 10 and 12 they could have learned that their mom means what she says, that she follows through with her threats and that they are expected to act decent to each other...instead, they are learning that they have power to fight their mom when they are punished and that the state and the judicial system will help them.

I think this is so sad and a real example of how difficult it can be to be a good parent when the state is looking over your shoulder all the time making your parenting decisions for you. Makes me want to start my own "creepy compound" where me and my friends can live and raise our children as we see fit without the threat of prosecution at every turn and we might have a chance to raise healthy responsible adults, the more stuff like this happens the more I wonder if that is even possible in today's society with the current judicial/legislative system...hey Rachel, you still interested in finding a big piece of land for a compound in Wyoming?

Are you kidding me?

I hate photo radar as much as the next guy, but to shoot a photo radar van driver and kill him in cold blood as he talked on the phone to his wife. My heart goes out to the victim and his family and I hope that the shooter receives the maximum penalty. Hate photo radar go to the government and protest it correctly, do not hurt the people that are just doing their jobs to impliment it.

Who'da Guessed?

There are still a few people with some common sense floating around and one of them wrote The 5 Most Popular Safety Laws (That Don't Work).

They missed the totally assinine practice of stripping us down and running us all through the pointless security checkpoint at the airport, but other than that, it's pretty right on.

A few more...

Punk in a box. No I don't know why, my mom put him there and it was a "train" for a while. I told her we were going to ship him to you...

And these are from our zoo trip a few weeks ago. I can't even believe how red Punk's hair is in the sun!

More for Daddy.

We love you baby.

Babylegs!

Babylegs are on sale today at http://www.babysteals.com/. They can be hard to find and when you do find them they usually run $12/pair and are less than half that with this sale!

Free Nursing Cover

Go to http://www.uddercovers.com/index2.php and enter onefree as the coupon code. All you pay is the shipping ($7.95) for a nursing cover. This is a while supplies last offer and they only have blue and pink left, but it's cheaper than you can get a nursing cover at Target or Babies R Us!

Mr. Independent...

He wouldn't let me feed him today, he wanted to do it himself...pictures and video of the damage. (I took his clothes off when I figured out he wasn't going to let me feed him and he wasn't going to be happy unless I let him have a go at it...I figured that getting him and the highchair clean was going to be enough work without having to get food out of his clothes).

New Trick...

So, my mom taught Punk to stand up in the crib on Sunday morning. I really didn't think it would stick, until I went in to get him up from a nap Sunday afternoon and this is what I saw...
Grandma is grounded...
I want my itty bitty baby back, I don't even know who this little man is! Oh, and today, he was pulling up on the furniture...grrrr

It's the truck pictures, set to music!

First Lemon

Robby's first bullet bar...the aftermath.

Testing for Bobby

BEWARE...

Okay so I read this today. I am glad to know that I'm not the only one for whom grammar is a huge issue. I'm also not surprised that other stressors bring the irritation out more, that has certainly been the case in my world.

I thought this was interesting:

“Our brains are wired to notice what’s different and when you’re sure of the right way and the wrong way, you notice mistakes more,” says Wallin, who admits to dropping out of an exercise class because the instructor kept misusing the word “lay.”

But we don’t just notice mistakes, the psychologist notes. We also pass judgment and assign blame for them.

I quit a volunteer job that was very important to me, in part, because of the bad grammar of one of the people I had to work with regularly. I thought that it was just part of the fact that "I hate stupid people" but apparently I'm not the only one!

Little Victories....

Okay, so I know that I am 30 and I have been doing my own laundry for a LONG time, but I still really suck at it, I have a hard time figuring out how to get stains out and if the stain is set in at all, forget it, I just replace the item of clothing...

So today I discovered a shirt that I got grease (cooking grease, the bain of my existance) on when I was in Phoenix in December, apparently I set it aside when I took it off to have my mom help me get the stain out and it never got washed. Well, I treated the very large, very set in grease stain with dishwashing soap and VERY hot water, then I washed the shirt in the washing machine as normal. I pulled the shirt out and air dried it (figuring if I didn't get all of the stain that setting it in further with the dryer would definitely make it impossible to get out) and guess what? I got the stain out! It is a little victory, but it feels like I took a giant step closer to being a better homemaker and mommy and as, right now, that is my life's work, well, let's just say it made my day!

Fair winds and following seas, babydoll...

Video of ship leaving...

Here we go again...The ship left this morning. Punk and I dropped Bobby off at the ship at 01:30 this morning. We will see him again in six or seven months. I'm okay...Punk is a little young to understand what is going on, but not so young that he doesn't know that something is awry. The hardest part is that by the time Bobby gets home, Punk will be a totally different kid...it's my job as mommy and wife to do everything in my power to keep Bobby up to date on his development...what is life if not a series of challenges, right?

I'll be back in Phoenix this week...can't wait to see the sun again.

Friends Reunited

We were before we were born. Our souls are eternal. We knew people before, we knew our families, we want to continue those relationships after this life. If I didn't know those things before now, I would have to have admitted the truth of them as I watched my five month old and his three week old cousin lie on the floor next to each other on Christmas morning. I could not deny our eternal nature as I watched their eyes light up in recognition, watched them "talk" to each other and smile. I could see the joy in my babies eyes, I know that he knew CJ before, I know that he is glad to have her here with him now. I know how important our family relationships are and I am so glad that I will soon have the opportunity to be sealed to my family, that my young son will have his family forever and that he and CJ will be able to be friends for eternity.